Sense of Belonging
by statefarmsnake
Summary: Lard Nar now has a little double agent from the irken side. They become good friends, but... what if Lard Nar thinks a bit more than friendship? Would he risk losing the friendship and the only hope he had against the evil irken empire? Lard Nar/Rarl Kove


Lard Nar had a sense of confidence that most leaders tended to lack. Though, that was often countered by his extensive levels of stress and his need to yell in order to let it all out. With that combination, Lard Nar was often considered to be a bit unpredictable. A competent leader at one moment, a screaming coward the next.

Though, he did have a good reason to back-up his confidence. With his rebellion against the irken empire, Nar knew that gathering as much information as possible was the key to success. The best way was to befriend someone on the inside that would be willing to supply any information that they're given.

Luckily for Lard Nar, he came across someone very recently, and the irken was discreetly making his way to the Resisty ship at that very moment. Lard Nar watched on his computer screen as a Voot Cruiser came into view. Lard Nar waited patiently until he was eventually notified that he had a visitor waiting for him in the Shuttle Bay. Lard Nar smiled, jumping out of his chair jubilantly.

He walked over to the Shuttle Bay and entered, glad to see his visitor on the other side. "Rarl Kove, it's good to see you again."

Rarl's expression didn't waver too much from his normal blank expression, but Lard Nar could tell that he was smiling a bit. "The feeling is mutual, Captain. It's good to be back on this ship."

"Despite you following the Tallest and your duties, you are always welcome to stay here as long as you want if you're interested. By the way, you can drop the formalities. No one calls me Captain on this ship. There's no supremacy here."

Rarl's smile became a little more apparent as he heard that. Rarl's had expressed his discomfort to Lard Nar about betraying the Tallest and serving the Resisty, but that didn't change his feelings for the Resisty. Despite being an irken in a non-profit irken resistance, Rarl felt like he actually belonged amongst the other oppressed aliens that deserve a second chance at life.

They also all respect him for being there, because he was the one irken that would have the potential to help change everything, and that meant a lot to everyone.

"I'll keep that offer in mind then. Should we get to business… Lard Nar?"

Lard Nar thought for a moment, then shook his head. "If you have the time to spare, then I would like to treat you to a meal. I don't want you feeling like you're simply an asset to the resistance. You're a friend, and I want to convey how much I like having you around."

Rarl's antennae perked up. A meal other than the Tallest's leftover doughnuts? Rarl didn't want to seem overly eager, but he was more than interested. "I would appreciate that greatly, Lard Nar. Thank you."

"Right this way," Lard Nar said, lightly smiling. He began to walk to the Mess Hall with Rarl right behind him. "We just restocked or snack supply. I'm not sure whether or not it'll compare to what you eat on a regular basis, but this should suffice for now."

Rarl took a look at all of the food laid out in front of him. One would be able to tell from his expression, but based on his silent stare, he could've been described as entirely enthralled. He didn't think that this kind of array of food could _at_ all be compared to the slop that he was treated to on the Massive.

Although Rarl was the respected assistant to the two Tallest, they were ultimately the ones responsible for keeping him and giving him a home on the Massive. It was almost as if he were their little smeet, doing as they say, eating as they say, and everything else. The slop that he ate? They truly were the leftover bags of doughnuts that the Tallest never finish.

Rarl Kove stepped forward into the line of food and grabbed a plate, trying not to seem overeager. "Thank you, Lard Nar. This is plenty of food. I'm not sure if I'll be able to try it all."

"Really?" Lard Nar asked. "Well, I'm glad that I can accommodate Rarl. I've already eaten, so this whole buffet is here for you. Come join me at one of the tables when you're done."

Rarl watched as Lard Nar walked away, judging his every movement. He was interested in how delicately Vortians walked compared to irkens. Irkens tended to have their weight evenly distributed, but Vortians seemed like they were top-heavy. It must've been difficult to balance on the smaller legs when Vortians are younger.

He shook away from his curious thoughts, returning his focus to the food in front of him. There were an array of sweets like doughnuts, candy, and several different types of pastries. Rarl wanted something different for a change. He went for something a bit more savory that was loved by many other types of aliens. Rarl didn't know how the divergent diet would inevitably affect his body, but he didn't care too much. He piled on a little bit of everything onto two plates before eventually going to one of the tables where Lard Nar sat.

Lard Nar's eyes widened. "You definitely came here with an appetite," Lard Nar said. "I didn't realize that you would want to try any of this stuff. I thought you would want… doughnuts or something. Isn't that what irkens like?"

"I'm afraid the Tallest forgot to feed me today, and it is 'Silence Day', so I'm not allowed to tell them about it." He grabbed a fork and dug into some brown slop known as Citup. It was a savory Plookesian dish: an average delicacy.

"Silence Day?"

Rarl swallowed his food. "When the Tallest are unhappy or are experiencing a headache, they call for a special day called Silence Day where I'm not allowed to talk under any circumstances unless I'm spoken to first. It was started when I spoke too much during one of Tallest Red's episodes of Hyperactive Heat." [OMG I thought I was the only one that made the Irken's go through heat cycles lol!]

Lard Nar stammered as Rarl finished that last word. He almost wanted to laugh and ask for more information on this… 'hyperactive heat', but that would be far too inappropriate. "What did you say that caused him to start… Silence Day?"

"I asked for assistance with a temper-filled irken and he said that I talked too much and kicked me out of the room. Literally kicked me out of the room. The following day, he called me into his office and enacted Silence Day."

Lard Nar chuckled. "Well... here, I have a method to combat that. Why don't we call today 'Talk As Much As You Want Day'? Seems reasonable, right?"

Rarl Kove thought for a moment, then nodded his head. "Yeah, that sounds reasonable. I've already talked more with you in this short time than I have all week. So it seems to be working."

"Yes… yes, I believe it is," Lard Nar said, smiling.

Lard Nar allowed Rarl Kove to finish his meal before giving him another small tour of the ship. After visiting the bridge and the medical bay, Lard Nar approached his room. A small room with the word 'Captain' written on the door.

Lard Nar yawned a little bit, signifying that he was a bit tired. Rarl Kove did come a little late, and they had been walking around for a little while. "Well, I think this will be the end of the tour. Unless there was more that you needed to tell me."

"I believe I got everything across," Rarl Kove responded. "Nothing truly exciting happened these past couple of weeks, so I guess I wasn't much help."

Lard Nar shook his head. "No, you were plenty of help, Rarl Kove. It is, and always will be, a pleasure to have you onboard." He nodded towards the room next to his own and said, "You know… the offer still stands. That room is empty and you can spend the night here. You do not have to return to the Massive tonight if you don't want to."

Rarl Kove thought for a moment, and then another. Lard Nar could tell that he was entirely conflicted. Though, he understood why. It was the question of whether or not he would get caught re-entering after being gone for longer than a day. Though, what happened next surprised him. "I'll stay."

Lard Nar remained shocked for a few moments, but then he smiled. "Well, that's good to hear. Everything you'll need will be in there like a bed. We even have some night gowns if you choose to sleep in something that isn't your uniform." Lard Nar felt a bit overeager, so he tried to slow himself down. He didn't want to present himself that way to Rarl, even if Rarl wasn't really paying attention.

Rarl nodded. "I appreciate all that you've done for me, Lard Nar. You have treated me nicely today and you are now giving me a place to stay."

"I'm always glad to accommodate a friend," Lard Nar said. He gently rubbed Rarl's arm… though it felt a bit awkward. At least, that's how Lard Nar felt.

For Rarl Kove… it was a touch that he didn't normally get. It was warm and genuine. Something that he didn't often get on the Massive.

Lard Nar quickly retracted his arm, a bit to Rarl's dismay, and said, "Well… good night. My door is always unlocked if you need me. Anytime at night. Just come get me. I don't sleep very well, anyways."

Rarl nodded, considering the offer. It wasn't often that he got to make requests or ask for anything. He liked it. He liked everything about it. "Good night," he eventually said before turning and going to the doorway of his new room. He turned and looked at Lard Nar for a moment and said, "Thank you" before entering.

Lard Nar smiled a little bit. "You're welcome," he whispered.

Rarl Kove didn't sleep much that night. Most of this was due to the fact that irkens didn't sleep much. Even if he did, then it would still be difficult due to all of the thoughts roaming around his head. Thoughts about being an adversary of the Resisty and how he was supposedly betraying his own kind. Though… he knew it was for the best. The irkens deserved freedom to do whatever they like. Rarl wanted to know how that freedom would feel.

Though… it still felt so wrong.

He laid in the comfortable bed for another few minutes, until something startled him. A noise. A scream, coming from the other side of the wall on his left. The scream sounded a bit… familiar. Shrill and short.

It was Lard Nar's.

Rarl Kove was sure of it. He quickly leaped out of bed and slowly walked over to his door to investigate. 'Why is Lard Nar screaming?' Rarl whispered to himself. He was afraid of the potential danger that could possibly be out in the hallway. He had to admit to himself that he was a bit fearful of the unknown, but… he had to make sure that Lard Nar was alright.

He opened the door and stepped out into the hallway. Rarl quickly turned towards Lard Nar's door. Other than it being wide open, there was nothing out of the ordinary. Though, now he was able to hear some whispers coming from the inside.

Rarl pressed himself against the wall so that he could listen in. He didn't want to interrupt, but… curiosity was getting the best of him.

"Everything will be alright," a female voice said. It was gentle and sincere. Definitely not irken. "There are no irkens here to hurt you, Lard Nar. You are safe on the Resisty ship and there are plenty of people here to protect you. You don't have to yell or cry anymore. Everything is alright."

This peaked Rarl's interest. Did Lard Nar think someone was attacking him? A wild imagination perhaps. He listened in more.

"Thank you, Ixane," Lard Nar said, his voice wavering. "I am sorry for waking you, but… the nightmares… they get so bad."

"I understand, Lard Nar," Ixane said. "Do not worry. There is a reason why I placed my room next to yours. I need to make sure that you stay in a decent state-of-mind whenever those nightmares arrive."

"Thank you. Again."

Rarl had enough. He didn't like the idea of hiding. So, he slowly stepped out of his hiding spot, making sure to stay in the light of the hallway. "Lard Nar, sir. I heard a scream. Is everything alright?"

Lard Nar was initially startled, letting out a small yelp. Being an irken was certainly going to be a slight disadvantage for Rarl.

"It's just Rarl Kove," Ixane said.

Lard Nar nodded. "Right. C-come in, Lard Nar. Everything is alright."

Rarl nodded, a bit startled by Lard Nar's yelp. He didn't want to upset him but it almost seemed inevitable. He entered the quarters and approached Lard Nar's bed slowly, not wanting to bring any more worry.

Ixane remained silent for a moment and then stood up. "I'll leave you to chat. I'm going to return to my quarters. Feel free to call me if you need anything, Lard Nar." She then slowly exited the room, elevating the brightness a bit so that Lard Nar would not be as frightened by Rarl Kove's presence.

Rarl watched her leave and then turned to Lard Nar. "Excuse my curiosity, but… may I ask what just happened?"

Lard Nar nodded. "Yes, um… I get infrequent nightmares about the irkens attacking Vort. They sometimes happen while I'm awake, but they mostly happen while I'm asleep. I'm really sorry for waking you. I didn't mean to."

"I wasn't sleeping," Rarl said, taking a seat across from Lard Nar's bed. "You do not have to worry about me, Lard Nar. I am more concerned about you."

"Thank you, Rarl," Lard Nar said. He slipped out of bed and sat on the edge. He was wearing comfortable pajamas that were a dark blue with stars on the front. "I truly appreciate the sentiment."

"You're welcome," Rarl said. He looked at Lard Nar's pajamas for a moment, then at the door. "I don't believe I've ever saw her on the ship before. Is she new?"

Lard Nar shook his head. "No, no. Ixane is one of the first recruits on the Resisty. She spends a lot of her time in the transporter room and in her quarters, so you won't likely find her out in the halls."

"I see," Rarl said as he turned back to Lard Nar. "You two seemed very… close. She had a gentle voice."

"Ixane and I have been friends for a little while," Lard Nar said. "She knows about my… nightmares more than anyone. She knows how to deal with them the best, too."

"I can tell," Rarl said. Then there was silence for a moment. Rarl felt a bit conflicted on a question that was going around in his mind. Rarl was an incredibly curious irken, but was never allowed to express his curiosities on the Massive. He wondered how far Lard Nar would allow his curiosities to go. He thought he would try something. "May I ask a more… personal question?"

Lard Nar thought for a moment, curious about Rarl's sudden words. It seemed a bit strange. "Uh… sure. What is it?"

"Vortians…. vortians have mates, correct?"

Lard Nar nodded. "Oh, yes. Yes, Vortians have mates. Lifelong companions, really." Lard Nar thought for a moment. "I sometimes forget that irkens don't share those kinds of ideals. It's a bit sad, if you'll allow me to say so."

"I can't say that I have much of a preference for or against lifelong companions, mainly because I've never had one to place my own judgements on the subject." Rarl Kove shook his head. He felt too formal, and he was going off-topic. "Anyways… I was curious… Ixane. Is she your mate?"

"Ixane?" Lard Nar asked. He chuckled a bit, shaking his head. "Ixane is a wonderful person, but… I prefer the kind of relationship we have now. Just friends. She has expressed the same feelings as well. Her species treats lifelong companions a bit differently as well. Though, I haven't been curious enough to ask HOW differently."

"I see," Rarl Kove said. "I apologize for asking. My curiosity is truly getting the best of me."

"Don't apologize; it isn't necessary," Lard Nar said. "It _was_ a reasonable analysis. Some people have said that Ixane and I… express a certain vibe that resonates as more than friends. But that's all we are."

"Have you ever considered a mate?" Rarl Kove asked. Though he immediately covered his mouth and said, "I talked out of turn. I apologize."

Lard Nar chuckled. "You don't have to worry about that here, Rarl. If you have something you would like to ask, then you should be allowed to ask it. If you have something to say, you should be able to say it." Lard Nar thought for a moment, then cleared his throat. "And… to the answer to your question, yes. After quite some time of recuperation after the attack on Vort… I often considered what it would be like to have a companion. There are some… candidates that I have been thinking about. Or rather, just one candidate that I've been thinking about."

"Do they know about your feelings or your intentions?" Rarl asked.

Lard Nar shook his head. "No… and he may never know," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "As of late… he has been a big part of my life, aiding in my efforts as a Captain. Recently, I have discovered a sense of sincerity. A sense of being within him. He has compassion and interest in how I'm feeling, and… I feel that I give him the same in return. Though… I always wonder if expressing my feelings would only cause damage."

"Perhaps you should take your own advice," Rarl Kove said after some extensive thought.

"What advice?" Lard Nar asked.

"If you have something to say, you should be able to say it," Rarl answered.

"Hm…" Lard Nar said, considering it. "Using my own words against me, Rarl. You truly are sly, aren't you?"

"I'm just allowing you to see and think clearly," Rarl said.

"I feel I can see clearly," Lard Nar said proudly. "Though, trust me Rarl. He has only joined us recently and is from a species that… is uncomfortable about the idea of companionship. I hardly think that expressing my feelings would do any good. Only bad."

Rarl thought for a moment and nodded his head. "If you're so sure about that, then perhaps you're making the right judgement." Though, that only gave Rarl more questions… and a lingering thought that would take many answers to unlock.

"I think so, too," Lard Nar said. He looked away for a moment, feeling a bit uncomfortable. "Well… I think I'm going to return to bed. Thanks for staying up with me. I believe I will be able to sleep better now."

"I'm glad that I can help," Rarl said as he stood up and turned towards the door. "You have a pleasant night, sir. I'll return if I hear another scream."

"Thank you," Lard Nar said, smiling a bit. "I'll be counting on it."

Rarl nodded as he exited the room. He felt confident that his relationship with Lard Nar had only strengthened, though… he still had many questions and not a lot of answers. This was common for him. Though, now it was worse.

Lard Nar woke up a few hours later as he saw light coming through his window. The ship was passing through a large, bright star. It wasn't the 'sunlight' that he was hoping for, but it would have to do. He needed to wake up anyways, due to a small knock at his door. "Computer, who is at the door?"

" _Scanner indicate Rarl Kove; Irken."_

"Computer, open the door," Lard Nar said as he stood up. The door opened and revealed Rarl Kove on the other side. He was dressed in his irken uniform, and he stood tall like he normally did. "Rarl, what brings you to my quarters? Do you need something?"

"I will be leaving soon, and I did want to say goodbye before I did so," Rarl said as he entered the room, "but… I had an inquiry that has been bothering me all night, and well… I would like to ask one last question if that's alright?"

"Oh," Lard Nar said. "Well, yeah. Go ahead. What is it?"

"Last night, you described to me the person that you would like to be your potential companion, and I tried to calculate who that person might be, and… I discovered that all of those characteristics were strikingly similar to my current stance with you and the Resisty."

Lard Nar's eyes widened and his horns began to twitch a bit. "Y-yes?"

"My question is… was that person me?"

Lard Nar felt like he would fall over, but… he tried to calm himself down. He looked down. "Y-yes."

Then there was silence for several moments. There was a slight noise, but since Lard Nar was looking down, he had no idea what was happening. But then he felt something press up against his hand. He looked at it and asked, "What is this?"

"My transmitter. Read it."

Lard Nar did as instructed. Though… the message wasn't very extensive. Sender: Rarl Kove. Sendee: Tallest Red & Tallest Purple. Message:

 _I quit._

Lard Nar's head quickly shot up. "Rarl… w-what is this?"

"I have not sent the message yet," Rarl said. "I have made some… difficult decisions in this past month, but… this one is too difficult for me to make. I can admit that now."

Lard Nar paused, his horns moving back. "What do you want me to do?" he asked quietly.

"Hit send, and… I'll stay here on the Resisty. I'll… discover what it is truly like to have a companion while I aid you in your mission to bring the irken empire new peace. Or close the message… and I'll return to the Massive, and our current relationship as a double agent will remain unchanged. I'll continue to come as your orders."

"That's… that's a big request." Lard Nar said as he looked down. "You really want me to make it for you?"

"I do," Rarl said without any hesitation.

Lard Nar nodded. He felt as if he had a lot of power, and… one option seemed so tempting, and…

… it seemed like the best option by far. A happy life, perhaps. A beautiful adversary against the irken empire.

Lard Nar lifted his finger and then slowly lowered it onto the 'Send' button. A few moments later, the message processed, then it was officially sent.

He put the transmitter down onto the bed and slowly walked forward towards Rarl. He stared at him for a moment, debating his next move. Though… he gave in to his fears. He stood as tall as he could, grabbed the back of Rarl's neck and brought him down a bit so that their lips could connect.


End file.
